if it is not him...it's not him.

i can't breath. pain is embracing me so much that i cannot take any air from the outside. i was wrong....again.

i thought i found him. the guy who will make everything complete. the guy who will be the answer to my prayers. but i guess i was wrong..for if not..then why do these tears keep on falling?

i hate lies. it's kinda making the world a perfect abstract.

it's like planting a seed at the back of your home. time passes, it will spread its leaves, bring out flowers, then propagate. it looks so beautiful.. oh so beautiful. once you get amazed to it, you'll take care of it. give everything. sacrifice. then time passes by, the oh-so-beautiful thing you have will lift your home up and destroy everything.

i do not know what to believe anymore. BUT THERE'S ONE THING I HAVE IN MY HANDS. and i'll be surrendering it to you straight to the point:

we have something. you have something. just to be clear with the second sentence i mentioned, "you" pertains to the both of you. did i assume? i think not. you told me those words anyone would like to hear. i believed in you. the thing i am not aware of is that the uttered words were not for me..alone. i gathered primary data from the both of you. i am so sure of what i heard. Mr. He and Ms. She is certified inlove with each another..still in love. where must i put myself after knowing a fact? at the middle? near you? near her? or SHOULD I STILL HAVE TO PUT MYSELF IN THE PORTRAIT?

i must admit it. i fell.

now a decision has been made. i do not want to destroy anything. i never wanted to be something who will make your mind messy. you love her. she loves you. fine! fact accepted.

nothing to worry. you saw no evidence of pain. and you will still see nothing. for "I" is always here for me. simply telling, "if it is not him, then he's not. God have plans for you. the best is yet to come."

it is painful, indeed. but there's nothing i can do. letting go is not new to me. i think it's kinda hobby already =) i am happy for the both of you. i pray that the relationship you have will get better and better. no hard feelings =) i will always be here for the both of you.

you know me as Dr. Love. well, i have a better Doctor who is always there to touch my heart and heal the wounds. right God? =)

just like what i heard, "some times, you must allow yourself to loose in a battle for you to win a war."

have faith. and everything will be fine. finer the finest thing you can imagine. say "no" to worries! =))))