cry a river

Last night, I cried so hard, really really hard, as if there was no tomorrow. It happened just before I fell asleep. I never realized I have this burden inside of me. It felt really bad. My heart was like exploding from emotions. I cannot stop myself from crying. I own these tears but I cannot command them to stop falling from my eyes. I wanted to cry out loud but I should not... So quietly, I battled. That night was definitely unexpected.

I am not sure how it all started or where did this pin that caused my heart to burst came from. Maybe lots of troubles are coming into my life now and I was so overwhelmed as they all came simultaneously. While I was crying, I looked at every aspect of my life. Every aspect has its own trouble to deal with. Suddenly, I realized I am with no one. The obstacles that flash backed in my head were known by no one aside from me.

Thinking of all these things that were drowning me into tears, I thought of a way to, somehow, lighten the burdens -- to talk to someone. One name came into my mind. Sarah. Just then, it made me cry harder. Yes, it is easy for me to talk to her but how? Even a cent cannot be grabbed from my pocket. A phone call cannot be done for I have no private space. So I just shouted her name repeatedly in my mind, hoping that she could hear me by heart.

The morning I woke up, I acted as if nothing happened, though my eyes could speak for me. I felt better because of crying but I will not lie by telling that the loads I am carrying is now less than what I felt last night.

No matter how funny a person could be, there will always be a time that sadness cannot be masked by laughter and smiles.