Jom ^___^

This morning, I was thinking about putting a new post in my Facebook profile. Well, I thought of you. I wanted to post something about how I felt last night, exactly 11:05 p.m., November 16, 2011. You asked me this way, “.. Pde manligaw? J (Can I court you?)”

I was really surprised that you will be asking me that so soon. We just started texting five days ago. We still do not know each other well. But honestly, I felt happy and flattered and kilig, hahahaha! That is because I kinda like you even from the very first time I saw you. Every time I go the place where our eyes meet (the place that should not be mentioned here…or else I’m busted, hahaha!), I always go to the spot where I could see you. I always wait for you to look at me and, this is kinda funny, I am practicing how I will react if you do that. Hahaha! I try looking at your things, what you bring, and how your perfume smells like. I tried making ways for you to talk to me and to make kulitan with me, in which, I often fail. I also tried making ways for you to ask for my number, and the last time we talked, at last! I made it. Hahahahaha! I’m sorry. I just really find you good looking.

Back to the story, I asked you why. Then you replied, “.. Gzto kta.. pde ba o hnd?.. J ok lng kht fwend.. (I like you.. can I (court you)? It’s okay if we’re just friends..)” I do not know what to say. Like I said, I like you but something’s stopping me to say “yes, you can”. There is a long story behind this that I cannot tell you now. Then I responded’ “,eeh. anhirap naman nung tanong mo. hmm. ui sori ha? dq pa kc tlga iniicp yan ngaun. gusto q kc muna gumradweyt at magkawork para may pan-date aq, haha! J cguro nxt time pg iniicp q na un. sori tlga, huhu. pramis il be a very gud frend to u :)) mwaah. (Your question is difficult to answer. Hmm, I’m sorry? I am not thinking about those things yet. I want to graduate first and have a job so I can have money to use whenever I will go to date, haha! Maybe next time, if I’m already thinking about it. I’m really sorry. Huhu. Promise I’ll be a very good friend to you.)” Then you just responded, “It’s okay.”

I mentioned sorry several times because I am also sorry for myself… Sorry because I have to tell those words to you – words which are against what my heart really wanted to say. I honestly wanna give it a try, but I do not know how. With all the stories behind my decision, I do not know how to handle things. I cannot even tell the reason here because I think it’s no good. I am sorry. And I am sorry to myself.

I already had posted something on my Facebook wall, saying, “How hard it is to say no to someone who asks for your heart.........when it is actually you who secretly wants to have his heart even before he formally met you.”

Let’s see what our next story will be.